A slick dressed man rested on my seat this morning. He sat down his briefcase and began to enjoy a breakfast bagel. A curious and pesky pigeon landed on my back, interested in the bagel. In it's feeble attempt to snatch the bagel, it became trapped inside the peculiar briefcase. The next thing I knew, lasers were being shot passed my seat and back, and rockets launched past my legs. Utter chaos broke out. The man and the pigeon piloted briefcase continued their battle in the street before me, taunting one another with the objects of the other's desire; the man his high tech briefcase, the pigeon the bagel. Amid their scuffle, the Washington Monument opened up and released a missile from inside. The next thing I knew, there was an explosion in the sky. Soon after, the man, the briefcase, the bird, and the bagel landed back on the sidewalk next to me. After the man walked away with his briefcase and the pigeon started nibbling the bagel, it seemed the chaos had ended. Before I could settle back into my routine of patiently waiting for someone to occupy my seat, a missile head crash landed on the bird and the bagel. Serves him right for causing so me so much stress on such a beautiful morning, and destroying a perfectly good national monument. What will my occupants admire now?